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Apr. 8th, 2014

Not a day goes by I don't think of killing myself.
Not a day goes by I don't wish you were dead instead.
Not a day goes by I am reminded why I should leave.
Not a day goes by I am reminded how much you despise me.
Not a day goes by I am reminded how much I despise you.
You never gave me a chance to be happy.
I thought you should know - I hate you.
I thank you for all that you've done, but I hate you.
You are a selfish, self centered bastard.
You wanna know why shit happens to you?
Because you fucking deserve it.
The next time you do that to me again: I would go to your drug bin and overdose on something I really couldn't care less which drug - I'm pretty sure I can find one.


Ricky Wilson and his suspenders

Comme des Garcons
So the Voice UK S3 ended and Ricky's act, Christina Marie, didn't win. But to be honest, this series was such a snoozefest I only continued watching because of Ricky. (I thought I'd be watching because of Kylie but it turns out she's a pretty shit mentor.)

I was tossing and turning in bed fantasizing about the afterparty, thinking what he'd wear and all that shit. I came pretty close. Here he is attending the actual afterparty (and not the one in my imagination). He's looking super fine.

Ricky Wilson, ladies and gentlemen. He prefers suspenders over belts. Which means he doesn't think about sex every 4 minutes.

By the way, I survived a day at the mall without giving in to the temptation of J.Co Donuts by chanting "Ricky, Ricky, Ricky..." inside my head. It was torture but I got through it.

Ricky's my Thinspiration

I've been on a diet it seems for all of my life and while I've succeeded in going down a few sizes since 2010, the elusive size 10 is so far from reach that there are days when I just want to kill myself for being fat.

When I do get to that point, I've found a new way of refocusing my energy and while it sounds corny, it does work most of the time. I think of Ricky, and how he succeeded in becoming a real top totty nowadays.

Ricky Wilson, you are my thinspiration.

And I want your jacket.

Ricky Wilson - Then And Now

Comme des Garcons
I don't know where to start this entry so I'm gonna have to do my best to capture everything.

This post is about Ricky Wilson and how he has become the UK's new favourite pin-up boy and my pretend boyfriend as of late.

Let's start with... The Voice UK. I was really excited for Series 3 mainly because I'm a massive Kylie Minogue fan. How massive? I don't like going to concerts - I simply don't have the budget for them. But for Kylie, I'm willing to break the bank and that I did when she included Manila in her Aphrodite tour. I also remember my friend based in Manchester, Jo, asking me who replaced Danny O'Donoghue since he announced his departure from the show after series 2 ended. I told her it was Ricky Wilson from the Kaiser Chiefs. I didn't think too much of it then - because while I know who the Kaiser Chiefs were, my main reaction was that of indifference. Something to the tune of "Ah! Okay. Good. The show is still on for series 3. I'm really excited to see Kylie."

Now, let me tell you how I knew the Kaiser Chiefs. It was because of Take That. They covered their song "Everyday I Love You Less and Less" on British radio a few years ago and that's what prompted me to listen to their other song, "I Predict A Riot" which I remembered was a massive, massive hit during the time of its release. This means prior to The Voice Series 3, I only have got them two songs of the band on my iTunes library and that was it.

Fast forward to the first episode of the Voice where the coaches usually have a production number where they sing their hits or each other's hits. First up was a really good looking man in a red shirt with a waistcoat who looked like Ryan Gosling.

It was Ricky Wilson. *GASP*

What the fuck happened? He is actually very good looking!!! No - scratch that - he's fucking... attractive! DEAR GOD WHAT HAPPENED??? Needless to say, I watched the whole series with my crush on Ricky just keeps getting bigger and bigger up to this day. My biggest mistake was Googling interviews of him and I just ended up liking him even more. Sigh. I started #whyrickyrules posts on my Instagram to enumerate why he for the lack of a better term, rules. I've only had 4 so far but I am controlling myself from posting more because I need this crush to go away because it has reached a level that is no longer healthy. (Seriously, I cry when I see him on telly and I get so jealous of Kylie and Christina Marie - his finalist on The Voice - when they're so near him like I want to kill myself.)

(I'd like to add - hearing Sir Tom Jones sing "I Predict A Riot" during the coaches' production number was a treat. I am a massive Sir Tom Jones fan and actually had tickets for his concert in Manila back in 2009/2010 but he cancelled that show and the concert didn't happen.)

So there it is. I've finally put it on here and hopefully this post will somehow make the crush subside. I think it will help that today is the Voice UK's final and will be the last episode where I will see Ricky as Ricky, the coach and not as Ricky, the Kaiser Chiefs' lead singer.

This was how I remembered Ricky as I remembered him prior to the Voice UK

And this was the Ricky that I saw on telly when The Voice UK premiered. Dead. Waistcoats should be banned from his wardrobe. It makes him so handsome!

Mental Note: This

You never know. It might come in handy.

Sigh. One reason why I haven't gone completely bonkers is due to the fact that Benedict is still single. He can get married now for all I care as long as I'm no longer living in this dump and I am back at work. SIGH.

Big Bang 2014

This would have made more sense if I posted this on the first day of 2014 but you know, I'm not exactly feeling inspired. For more than a year now. Dear lord take me out of this place.... anyway. Here it is. Pretty cute. I feel so talentless compared to artists who make stuff like this. Although a big part of me wishes them lot put their talents to better use as some of them can get really annoying on Tumblr. Especially those who uses the word "ship" a lot. Shudder.


When George Met Barney

Or something to that effect.


and another. But it's not as funny. Cos personally, I wouldn't want to date a Marshall, a Ted or a Barney. Give me a Sherlock or a Loki. *wink*

LSS: Alex Boyé's cover of Let It Go


LSS'ing this version of Let It Go from Frozen. Took this cover version to appreciate the song. Listened to this version and Idina's the whole day. On repeat.

Sakit sa lalamunan pag kinakanta pero kebs. Parang Lion King meets Frozen lang, ano?

lonely, sad, damaged

Finn Hudson (camelgraphics)
The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do." - Anonymous

Well I'm definitely lonely. Definitely sad. Definitely damaged. Sigh. I hope to end this sadness soon. Please fate of the world, work with me.

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